Tuesday, July 8, 2008

4th of July Pt. 2

I processed the film and even though there aren't a lot of images, the ones I got are incredible! I thought I had been spotted because right after I took these, he came back out with his partner and pointed down into my direction. I got all flustered and scared and instead of taking more photos (like a hard core P.I. would have!) I literally fled the scene barely grabbing my gear and even had to go back to get my notebook! It was very conspicuous. Then, I realized that they were probably pointing at all the construction going on right between my vantage point and their balcony. Sheesh! My heart was pounding, though. After I returned things stayed quiet for most of the rest of the day. Man, what I wouldn't give now for a photo of him pointing at me! Shit. Well, I guess I'll just have to go back up...

Sunday, July 6, 2008

4th of July Weekend, Pt. 1

Phew! I just got back from my trip this morning. What a crazy weekend up there. It was pretty packed with tourists but it is such a small town so it's hard to blend in. I still couldn't get my long lens out without drawing attention to myself. It is so obtrusive and hard to conceal. I drove in A LOT of circles and thought for certain people could tell I was spying on someone. I get really paranoid when I'm up there. For good reason, I suppose. I only bring cash and rarely, if ever interact with anyone for any reason. I always get gas before getting there or after leaving. I brought plenty of energy bars with me for food but I did needed coffee for the overnights so I stopped into this tiny coffee shop there. I started to wonder if he ever goes in there because it's right across the street. Then, I discovered this empty house right across from his condo with a circular drive that has part of it hidden fromthe street and a little small brush that I could get into and be concealed. It's the perfect view of his balcony but could not see much inside other than lights going on and going off throughout the evenings. I just crawled up in there the first evening I stayed and stayedput the whole night until very early morning. It was so scary when it was dark. Silent and pitch black. I didn't use a light because I did not want todraw attention to the fact I was hiding in the woods at night. Oh, and I couldn't get cell phone reception so there was no point in trying to use my phone either. I just laid there for a long time checking through the telephoto lens here and there to be sure I wasn't missing something. It was quiet for a long time. I was restless a lot. The sound of snapping branches woke me up at one point out of a half sleep and scared me to death. I was literally shaking because it sounded like something or someone coming up the hill towards me. I tried to adjust my eyes to see better but it was still so pitch dark. Myeye sight is really good but I coud not see one damn thing - not even an outline of the trees around me. Then, I refocused my eyes only to see tiny bright eyes starting at me from all around me. I laid in my position perfectly still for a long long time. I couldn't tell how many there were but maybe half a dozen, if I had to guess. They were all blinking and just starting at me! Then, a few of the pairs of eyes disappear and turn into these flashes of little white stripes where the eyes were. They looked fluffy to me and I could finally see that they were little baby skunks! Knowing that made me even more anxious but I stayed put. What if I was right int heir den or something? What if the mama came back and attacked me?! I remember thinking that this is one of those momentsthat I swear I'll remember for years. I stayed in the same spot for most of the night but peed a few times off in the back near the car. At one pointI tried to venture off near the ocean foot but almost stepped right off a cliff. I won't do that again. I will draw out a map of the layout so you can get a sense of where I was in relation to the highway, my dad's house, and the ocean. I'll post more later once I've gotten some rest and processed the film...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

July 4th

I didn't make it up for Father's day but maybe next year if I'm still working on this project. Instead, I am planning to go up for 4th of July weekend. I think it'll be perfect because there will be lots of people up there for the holiday taking photos and being tourists. I hope to be able to blend in a lot easier. I'll borrow a different car this time and drive up. I plan to focus on shooting some of my experiences taking pictures and interacting with the space around him now that I have a better sense of what the lay of the land is, so to speak.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Father's Day

Ok, my plan is to go up for Father's day.

I've always feel slightly sad on that day not knowing where he is or what he's doing. I guess my sisters must call him or send him a card or something? He probably feels sad. I know I would feel sad. In the past, I have felt a strange sense of empathy mixed with disdain. I'll have this internal argument with myself. He was the one who left us. Not only did he leave us, but he left us destitute. We were homeless because he didn't support us the way he should have. So I guess part of me wishes he did feel badly every Father's day. I don't talk to him because he left us and disowned my brother. He adopted him knowing he was going to leave the family he built. I never wanted to not have a father. He left us.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The photos came out!

They came out! In the first photo you see his car in his garage. This was what led me to confirm that it was in fact his house. My sister told me this was the kind of car he had. In the second photo you can see his vague outline in the dark shadowy area of the left side of the photo. This was the creeppiest moment because it felt like he could spot me at any time! I knew how far away I was but since I could see him so closely it felt like all he had to do was look up and he would be able to see me in the woods looking at him.

From the short time I spent up there I discovered that he might be living a somewhat isolated life. He never left his house that I could see. I want to get more shots of him but this may require me to wait outside his house for long chunks of time.

This may sound strange but I think I'm onto something.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I saw him!

I only shot one roll of film this trip up but I actually saw him (and think I got a shot of him!). It felt like a strange dream to be looking through the 300mm lens at him through is window from the woods next to his house. There he was just sitting there going about his life. I will process the film tomorrow and see what I ended up with.

I felt both scared and exhilarated all at once. I could feel my heart racing as I pressed the shutter release. Although the edge of the ocean was gorgeous - I barely thought about my surroundings at all. Being back at home I can see what I need to do next - focus on this process of going out there and get some shots of the surroundings. I think next time I should shoot some digital images as well. I think I'll also make some sound recordings.

I'll post the photos as soon as I process the film.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

for real this time

Ok, so I decided to go back up to try to "see" my father again. I need to do some more research. It was actually kind of scary how easy it was to locate his address, map it out, find out about the area where he lives, what his jobs are, etc. I also have to find a place to rent a long lens. I'm not even really sure how long a lens I need. I've also got to either rent a car or borrow one. I guess a Zip car might stand out too much. I feel like a creeper but if it's truly an art project, I have to do this. I feel strangely compelled in a similar way to how I felt that I HAD to photograph Mommy, Allsun and Klare. I needed to understand them. I have to look more into the laws around photographing his house without him knowing. Part of me doesn't actually want to find him.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

found it

So, I found his house. I drove up late at night. It's three hours north of where I live. I did take some photos but then my card got erased some how. It was weird. Next time, I'll bring film. I didn't see him but I saw his car was there. I waited for a while until finally it got late and I decided to drive back down the coast. Above is a map I found on Google.

Friday, February 15, 2008

More research - creepy!

This is his house - found right on Google maps.

Could these be potential hide-outs/stake out spots?

Monday, February 11, 2008


I just found my father's address. I'm thinking about going up there to see where he lives in person. I may have to bring my camera and take some photos. Maybe I'll see him. I wouldn't want him to "catch" me, though. Not until I decide what I'm doing.