Back from possibly my most successful trip to my father's yet. I know what I'm after now. I'm telling a story that's much more about me than it is about him. I've recorded lots of audio that I'm still not sure what to do with but through the process of making it I know I am learning more and more about my search. I was so close this time to knocking on the door and introducing myself. I kept fantasizing about it during the long hours in the pitch dark woods. What would he say to me? What would I say to him? I imagined any number of scenarios.
I almost fell off a cliff where the lands drops off to the ocean. God, it is so gorgeous there. I scheduled a tour of a condo for sale right next door to his. I asked if they would lease it for a short time instead of selling and they looked at me like I was out of my mind. They asked me questions about who I was and where I was from which I dodged and made up answers to. I never once had to give my real ID, thank goodness. Then, I started fantasizing about that. How I could live there for a short time and just watch and record and learn. I rummaged through is garbage, photographed his house very close at night, and followed him to the gym. I followed his white truck and waited patiently as he pumped gas and then lost him shortly after he pulled away from the gas station.
I got some pretty interesting shots of the balcony at night. It was so scary out there at night in the cold. I stayed out there with my gear and nodded off periodically to where it felt like I was doing nothing. When the light came up I made some interesting abstractions but I have no idea how or even if they fit into this project. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere so much of the time I'm up there but then when I get back here and sort, edit, look something comes clearer to me. I think I'm going to make a book out of this but it may be many more trips before I have something that makes sense to a viewer.
I got some really nice shots on the back from the trip. I think I might try and incorporate some of these landscape shots. Not what I normally tend to shoot but there is something about them that describes my frame of mind for this project. I hope I got some good film shots. It's been so long since I've shot much b&w that I forgot how labor and time intensive it is. I am enjoying the anticipation in a way. If I get some good ones, I'll post them as soon as I process & scan them...
I followed a few of the "missions" and was certain he might see me or recognize me at any moment but I think I got some good stuff. The above image is where I entered the woods on the North East side of his house. It is so gorgeous up there. I crept into the woods and hung here until it got a bit darker. I kept worrying about the car and if anyone would wonder why it was just sitting on the side of the road. I got in pretty close but not many good shots from across the street to the East. I decided the next day to go back to "my spot" across the street on the West side of the street.
