Thursday, October 1, 2009


I was finally able to process some film here. I'm so happy everything came out so well! I love the grain in some of them.

I was so excited by some of the shots I got of him this time! I was able to follow him a lot more carefully and I think I'm getting more patient.

There are all kinds of random shots I took that I ended up really liking. I am so glad I brought my Holga because I got some interesting landscape abstractions. I'm still not sure how they fit in but maybe once I start the book, it'll become clearer...

Saturday, September 12, 2009


After all I've read about private investigating I thought that I'd try wearing wigs as a clever way to disguise myself. I have to say after looking at the photographs I realize now how obviously NOT blond I am. It looks so ridiculous I laugh at myself.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Back from possibly my most successful trip to my father's yet. I know what I'm after now. I'm telling a story that's much more about me than it is about him. I've recorded lots of audio that I'm still not sure what to do with but through the process of making it I know I am learning more and more about my search. I was so close this time to knocking on the door and introducing myself. I kept fantasizing about it during the long hours in the pitch dark woods. What would he say to me? What would I say to him? I imagined any number of scenarios.
I almost fell off a cliff where the lands drops off to the ocean. God, it is so gorgeous there. I scheduled a tour of a condo for sale right next door to his. I asked if they would lease it for a short time instead of selling and they looked at me like I was out of my mind. They asked me questions about who I was and where I was from which I dodged and made up answers to. I never once had to give my real ID, thank goodness. Then, I started fantasizing about that. How I could live there for a short time and just watch and record and learn. I rummaged through is garbage, photographed his house very close at night, and followed him to the gym. I followed his white truck and waited patiently as he pumped gas and then lost him shortly after he pulled away from the gas station.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Film Shots

I got some pretty interesting shots of the balcony at night. It was so scary out there at night in the cold. I stayed out there with my gear and nodded off periodically to where it felt like I was doing nothing. When the light came up I made some interesting abstractions but I have no idea how or even if they fit into this project. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere so much of the time I'm up there but then when I get back here and sort, edit, look something comes clearer to me. I think I'm going to make a book out of this but it may be many more trips before I have something that makes sense to a viewer.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I got some really nice shots on the back from the trip. I think I might try and incorporate some of these landscape shots. Not what I normally tend to shoot but there is something about them that describes my frame of mind for this project. I hope I got some good film shots. It's been so long since I've shot much b&w that I forgot how labor and time intensive it is. I am enjoying the anticipation in a way. If I get some good ones, I'll post them as soon as I process & scan them...

Spring Break

I followed a few of the "missions" and was certain he might see me or recognize me at any moment but I think I got some good stuff. The above image is where I entered the woods on the North East side of his house. It is so gorgeous up there. I crept into the woods and hung here until it got a bit darker. I kept worrying about the car and if anyone would wonder why it was just sitting on the side of the road. I got in pretty close but not many good shots from across the street to the East. I decided the next day to go back to "my spot" across the street on the West side of the street.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Almost called it quits...

I was scared away by my last trip because of how terrified I was when I thought I almost got caught (or so I thought). I can't describe how scared I was. I almost decided to scrap this project all together but then I met this student who gave me the help I needed exactly at the right moment. He put together some "missions" for me to help me gain better access both during the day and at night. He told me that he works as a military contractor mapping missions and that he wanted to help me with my project. He had some pretty excellent advice about strategies but also equipment and staying discreet. I plan to go up there next week and follow this one at least:

Route 1 Danger level 5: Insert here during daylight. Take your camera gear in a purse but leave a case in the car. Display interest in whatever the building contains while doing so eye the perimeter find the least visible potion on the side where the first line it most likely that corner. Enter the forest after checking if there is anyone watching while keeping a casual look as if “meandering”. If you feel people have noticed you go back to your car and put your camera in the camera bag and act as if you are inspired. Also take several pictures before you enter the trees you once you have you will have a short window less than a half hour before people start noticing your absence. Clothing: wear normal clothes but none that are bright for obvious reasons. Make sure you have long clothes on and a light extra layer that you can shed after exiting trees. Secure any long lenses you may need. IMPORTANT: before you enter the parking lot be sure that he is there you have only one opportunity for this route so it is important that he is there. If this scares you to do this while having to inquire you can on a Sunday for example where there will be low volume of inquisitors however this also runs you the risk of standing out.

So, it's still kind of terrifying but I think having the direction will be helpful.