Back from possibly my most successful trip to my father's yet. I know what I'm after now. I'm telling a story that's much more about me than it is about him. I've recorded lots of audio that I'm still not sure what to do with but through the process of making it I know I am learning more and more about my search. I was so close this time to knocking on the door and introducing myself. I kept fantasizing about it during the long hours in the pitch dark woods. What would he say to me? What would I say to him? I imagined any number of scenarios.
I almost fell off a cliff where the lands drops off to the ocean. God, it is so gorgeous there. I scheduled a tour of a condo for sale right next door to his. I asked if they would lease it for a short time instead of selling and they looked at me like I was out of my mind. They asked me questions about who I was and where I was from which I dodged and made up answers to. I never once had to give my real ID, thank goodness. Then, I started fantasizing about that. How I could live there for a short time and just watch and record and learn. I rummaged through is garbage, photographed his house very close at night, and followed him to the gym. I followed his white truck and waited patiently as he pumped gas and then lost him shortly after he pulled away from the gas station.